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I recently came across an article that showed photos of people, not interacting, holding invisible cell phones.
How often do we lay in bed with our partners, with our backs turned scrolling on social media instead of cuddling? Technology, when used appropriately, can be a great way to easily connect with folks. But it also can be a wedge between two people when we opt to be on social media versus sharing intimate moments with the people around us.
“Notice how much time you spend clicking “like” on the social media posts of those you barely know, for instance, and compare it to the time you could spend having coffee with an old coworker you still miss, or sharing a phone call with the college friend who makes you laugh,” Dr. Andrea Bonior a best-selling author, speaker, professor, and licensed clinical psychologist explained.
“Conduct a relationship audit: Who is getting most of your time? And are they deserving of it?”
And of course it’s going to be impossible to eliminate social media from your life, but you have to start using better judgement about what moments are meant to zone out and scroll and what moments call for tapping in to the people you love around you.
“Sure, it feels great to text back and forth with a friend about your work drama when you are most stressed about it (a benefit!), but when you are supposed to be hearing about your partner’s day and are staring at your phone instead, you may be damaging the relationship in front of you,” Bonior said.
Take inventory of how you spend you time. Most iPhones allow you to monitor screen time–just making goals on how to limit time spent online can help you make huge progress in your relationships. It also gives you time for more hobbies, work, and relaxation time.
Make an effort to keep your phone in your pocket while you’re at dinner with friends, and never scroll on your phone will someone is having a conversation with you. It will help you be not only more engaged with loved ones, but more in tune to your present life.
